You win a free trip to the Hague
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Joined 3 years ago
Cake day: June 13th, 2023
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27·1 year agoApparently “cotton” and “Mexican” are slurs
If it makes you feel any better that horse wasn’t the one that killed him
Monkey’s paw: your teeth would also be as sensitive as the head of a penis
I’m already 2 years older than Mozart was when he died, the fuck am I even doing with my life
But I can still keep the dinosaur, right?
Damn dude, save some pussy for the rest of us
“You guys are still staffing window 1?”
I’m sorry your ice cream doesn’t have any sugar in it
If your girl wears a pickelhaube and united the German states, that’s not your girl
12/10
You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like
Normalize constructing an ominous orb completely out of obsidian and placing it in the San Francisco Bay.
Similar to hump-catting
Harambe’s death was the nexus connecting all timelines
Apparently I spin clockwise in bed because my pajamas are always all the way to the left when I wake up
Where we’re going we won’t need fingernails