I mean there’s that one guy who said it felt like his dick was stuck in a goddamn pencil sharpener

that burrito doing the lord’s work

that’s sooooo sagittarius ༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽

okay so i am introverted but not hot so i thought i couldnt relate. but i am fairly tattooed, and since i am a fat guy, i tend to wear shorts and t shirts a lot. having people stare at the exposed parts of my body makes me both uncomfortably self-conscious and inflates my ego. is this what hot people feel like?

they don’t care about you or what you think. The whole point is to get you familiar with the product. Familiarity drives shopping. You’re not gonna remember 6 months ago when that detergent ad ruined your 3rd blindfolded Dark Souls 3 run with a taser for a controller, but tide WILL feel familiar, and therefore a safe option. People love to feel like they’re that one wolf among sheep when they get annoyed by an ad, but in the end the rich corps still win.

but on a positive note I love the memes you’ve posted

i like it when my pornography creeps up in non-porn places, but that’s because my crippling addiction to porn has made porn boring

recently i even jerked off to a rubik’s cube because it was the least porn thing i could think of

that slutty-ass cube

Reminds me of that time my neighbour told me the mailman was fucking my wife, and I was like “hey, I’m jerkin’ here!”

ouh boy popcorn time again

“I don’t see what that has to do with my involvement in operation Paperclip”

thats the thing i hate about how everyone talks about how bad it is to date toxic people

they never talk about how hot they are. like yeah they’re wrecking my mental health because they’re also wrecking my reproductive organs

Or older

I wish. A lot of mom’s older coworkers were pretty hot. In this instance the girl she tried to set me up with was my age.

That said, there was no bigger turn-off for me than my mom trying to set things up or in any way get involved in my romantic life. She meant well, and it wasn’t in a toxic way, but my mom could get way too nosey for my comfort.

11 out of 12 wolves disagree

labelling a button “do not push” is about as effective as screaming “don’t look at me”

funny enough, my mom tried to set me up with her coworkers before

LOUDER FOR THOSE IN MY ASS

Like wood?

so two wrongs make a right when two wrongs make two wrongs?

the iconic stomp-stomp-clap replaced with slap-slap-ohhh yeaaaahhh

fool, by commenting you’ve declared their post as really good

continuing to scroll or closing the app / browser would’ve been the only true rebuke

what if i want money more