Take a look at Minifree Ltd. For less than USD $500, you can get a decent ThinkPad with Libreboot and your choice of Linux distro (KDE Debian is installed by default).

Near me is a dive bar on the river called Kuchie’s on the Water and it’s home to some of the most disgusting “food” you’ve ever seen.

I’m pretty sure this is a reference to Austin Powers, where he’s giving the Irish hitman a swirly in a casino bathroom and yelling “WHO DOES NUMBER 2 WORK FOR” while a gambler played by Tom Arnold in the next stall is trying to encourage him on.

That’s right, show that turd who’s boss!

Well shit, better stop using the distro I’ve been happy with for over a year and a half.

Fedora does the same thing where you can choose between RPM or Flatpak. The only flatpak package I’ve ever had problems with was OnlyOffice, and the issue was that the scaling was blown way out of proportions. Switching to the RPM version resolved that.

Right? I mean what other chocolate sandwich cookie is “overflowing with nut”?

You literally can’t go wrong with a Brother b&w laser printer.