Check, check, check, check, check and check.

I didn’t either, but I moved out anyway. If you have a car, you have a home.

Just give me the bullet points, thanks.

I live with my fingers on both buttons at all times.

It sure didn’t.

Excuse me what

I’m a big fan of the 12ft skeleton fad. Especially when they stay up and become Christmas decorations.

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I understand the joke and I agree with the sentiment, but it drives me fucking insane when people put the dollar symbol after the dollar amount.

Diddlin’ Daddy never goes out of style.

Well, this just confirms what I knew all along: I’m nobody.

After I had kids I found Satanism and became a communist. I have no idea what your friends are doing but they’re doing it wrong.