This is my kind of shoulder cat.

And it slaps eternally.

Somehow an improvement to both.

“Ha, ha! Look at that guy! He ate a candy bar, now he’s gonna die the fat death.”

Go boof some kale, or something.

If you want to get any real momentum for third parties, throwing your vote away isn’t it.

Do we have to shake? I’m good for a few, but my hand is gonna slip at some point and then that person is gonna tell everyone else how bad I am at shaking hands. Also, don’t your hands get chapped doing that too much? I cook a lot, so I use my hands often. Should I wear gloves? Is that rude? Will they talk about that?

I’m so glad I don’t have kids. If I walked into a day care and saw that every solid object had a fucking screen on it, I’d burn the place down.

He cuts off a dude’s dick and taunts him by eating a sausage in front of him.

Well, just feed it to the cat.

Like the Pizza Hut turned Bank turned Chinese Food Restaurant turned Fed Ex Pack and Ship

I wish this would come to Steam. I’m never going to give you my money for your shit storefront, epic.

Fuck yeah! I can’t wait for their reunion tour, just as soon as Charlie gets back from Australia.

Counter argument: Reddit is predominately American. These upvote sites use low cost foreign slave labor to generate their output. Buying upvotes is outsourcing jobs. Keep Reddit American. Don’t buy upvotes!

Kick start it for the first one, then use the energy of the blast to keep it going. Not only is the minefield cleared, we have infinite energy.

Oh, like a poop knife.

Scraaaaaaaaaaape. Ahhhhh.

He is holding the People’s Choice Award, and what you see are two glass pillars. Here is a better image: https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/459/418/575

Truly, sometimes the simplest explanation is the truest.

Let’s start with a big-ass “H”!

Coulda been a bitch like Drake and hid it.