It’s good to hear you get help. This story just speaks volumes to how important it is to get help as early as possible and to learn to drop the mask and let go when you need to. Wish you the best.

Definitely try again. I had a stupid doctor as well and it took me way too long to change it and get proper help. I was so depressed and really bad when I finally got my shit together over 2 years later. I begged for help and told my girlfriend to please not let me slide out of this.

Let me be your push to try again, because everyone deserves help and to be taken seriously. You NEED to go again and insist. Don’t budge. Be the “worst side of yourself” and by that I mean don’t try to hide anything. There’s no reason to try and appear strong and “well functioning” towards your doctor like you are probably used to doing for everyone else. Tell your doctor about every small little detail of your life that is inhibing you, and tell about all the stupid small stuff you do that you probably barely even notice yourself, like constant fidgeting or thought processes flying crazy for no reason or whatever it might be in your case.

Let the hyperfocus consume you towards getting help😄 and I mean that in the best way possible.

I’ve been there myself and in hindsight I wish someone would have pushed me harder to go get help and insisted I should not give up…

Sounds like it could be too high a dose if you get jittery, been there at 30-40mg but 20mg + 10mg both extended release later in the day works really well for me.

Remember that the way Ritalin (methylphenidate) works is not by boosting dopamin but rather slow down dopamin uptake. You still need to create the first “spark of dopamin” yourself that then slowly snowballs itself stronger. I’d say you need to take it at least a few days to weeks to see an effect and learn how it affects you. Start at just 10 to 20mg. Otherwise try another variation of methylphenidate like concerta or medikinet.

Have you talked with a psychiatrist and gotten a diagnosis yet? That’s a good step to take towards helping yourself, but start with your own doctor of you haven’t already, and get a referral (or however it works in your country). If you have ADHD it’s often that the brain is underestimated hence stimulants work wonders for ADHD to get the brain knocked back on track. You’d probably need to try a variety of stimulants to find what works for you even within the same family of stimulants like release times and brands, small variations can make you react differently.

I wish you the best and hope you’ll find something that works. This forum is a great source of help and motivation.

Stimulants… Or lots of coffee… I mean loooots of coffee

Debian. Since so many distros are based of it I always thought of it to be a stripped down, minimal and basic distro, but after daily driving for a year now in suprised how feature complete and pleasent it is out of the box with kde DE.

What’s on my USB stick you ask… A bunch of random shit I haven’t touched for 8 years so I have no idea what it is and it’s probably outdated, but I’d be damned if that usb stick is not In my keychain because “I might need it one day”

If only I knew that this is not normal 20 years ago I would have been a different place today. So many internal conflicting voices/thoughts and it’s fucking constant.

Here’s an idea. Use a mikrotik router board. They are super cheap and support VPN natively. I use wireguard but it should also support openVPN as well. Maybe more I’m not sure. The small hap series are super cheap and works great.

Mikrotik all the way. But prepare yourself for a nice steep learning curve, but now that om past that i sware by it. Super fast and infinity configurable. The entire router configuration can be exported as a txt file and imported in seconds so if it breaks just get a new one and load up your config and you are good to go. Also the forums are a gold mine of information. What i love the most is just how fast it is. Setting take effect instantly. Also means it is extremely fast to lock yourself out of not careful. Again, steep learning curve but really good after that.

You just described my situation almost exactly. Huge life changer for me to get medication. My mood is so much better and my confidence in myself at work is better than ever. I can finally trust myself and my skills and push complex projects like never before because the depressive anxiety and constant stream og garbage noisy adhd thoughts isn’t holding me back anymore. I track my mood on an app every single day from 0-6 and you can se on the graph exact what day i started the medication because it went from the average hovering around 3 to now hovering around 5 which is just such a good feeling. Best of luck to you and I’m happy to hear you found help as well.

Edit, the app i use to track my mood is called daylio and works pretty good. Giving me good insight on my own mental health.

It can manifest itself in the same way for men but it is usually then never discovered untill maybe much late in life when you have someone with depression and anxiety coming to the doctor’s who may also miss the fact that it could be ADHD

Well, I’m one. Fed up with windows BS.

As a Dane i can say that maybe its because Scandinavians are generally pretty tech savvy and good with digitalisation. Also Scandinavians has a low tolerance for bullshit.

… And also have the ability to skim internet content really really fast for all relevant information i need somehow without actually reading any of it.

Welp… Now I want more…

Or the flash of insight about efficiency but it spins off two new tasks where you spend 3 days on one of them and forgetting why you were doing it in the first place because it spun off 10 new tasks again so you are now so far removed from the original tasks you have no idea what is important to work on anymore and then the cycle repeats.

More like sitting down and doing neither and instead watching memes for 5 hours straight

Every. God. Damn. Time… And then I realise that I understand nothing and I jump up about a third and read again and still understand nothing so I read from the beginning and then realise that the text is not interesting anymore so I skip reading any of it only to come back an hour later after frantically searching for other articles on the same topic only to realise that the answers were just right there all along if only i had read it properly the first time round.

Me all the time, but after getting medicated it’s a little less overwhelming and I can better calm down about it and slowly chew through the lists of stuff that needs to be done… Slowly… But any progress is better than no progress at all so I’ll take it as a massive win.