Rimmer, you silly fucker.

I don’t know nothing about nothing.

I know, right? Nothing like a huge dump of adrenaline caused by the unmitigated rage you get from seeing the huge pile of shit left by the previous shift. Better than caffeine to wake you up.

Success Kid, Disaster Girl and Grumpy Cat. Same rules apply as AFV: kids and pets win every time.

My Amazon Fire that I’ve had for ten years finally bricked itself. I’m positive they did it on purpose. I only paid $100 for it, so I guess I still got my money’s worth out of it.

Maybe that’s why they used to call it “hydrophobia”.

I moved from Nebraska to North Carolina 20 years ago and still haven’t adjusted to the nasty taste of chlorinated water. I guess it’s better than getting cholera or e. coli.

I once visited Wilmington N.C. in the “off” season (half the price for hotels) and the water was really fucking bad. Not just chlorinated, but sulfurous. Even showering in it felt like it left a kind of residue on your skin.

Having been a 2nd and 3rd shifter most of my adult life, I miss going shopping in the middle of the night when hardly anyone was there.

Yeah, fuck that. I tear out tags, or cut them off. Some t-shirts actually come tag-less or put the tag at the bottom.

The older I get (I’m 54) I find the less tolerance I have for bullshit.

I love a good Clerks reference, here’s some Lemmy Silver {S}.

I came here for this.

My first car was a '73 VW Super Beetle.

Santa is the most communist of communists; giving gifts to all children just for being “good”.

This is how I started questioning the existence of Santa, even kids I knew were little bastards got all the good gifts.

“You haven’t beeeeen?”

I remember reading this quote a few years ago (probably Reddit), but I don’t remember if attribution was given. Kudos to you CAVOK.

Gatormobile. I can easily imagine the owner supplementing his income by poaching alligators in Florida or Louisiana.

“Now give me back my rights, you baldy bastard!”

What if you could use a baseball bat? Maybe with nails in it.

We need more Louis Gs.

I feel you brother. Nobody respects the idea that night shifters need sleep too. I met my gf over 20 years ago. We worked together on night shift, so she understood the trials and tribulations of night shift workers. She became disabled soon after, and no longer worked. About 10 years ago I was asleep, and was awakened by BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM, in the kitchen. I get up to see what the fuck was going on. She’s standing at the counter trying to open a jar of pickles by smacking the lid on said counter. I must have cussed her out for five straight minutes. “Did you really need some fucking pickles that goddam bad?” and "goddammit woman, you know better, " were among the choice phrases I had for her.