9:07am and tell me to return 15 minutes after and I’d be pulling out my phone every 5 seconds and doing math.

Is it really so hard to add 15?

Not to mention they’re worse at keeping time.

You know, like the whole point of a watch.

Did you eat it raw? Or like …how did you notice it was warm? Usually eggs get pretty hot when they’re cooked.

Good grief I sure hope whoever designed those knows what pi is

Wanna be my roommate?

Neat.

I like to call a singular piece of trivia a trivion.

Owner. It’s what the owner is taking, and usually they’re working way less than everyone else.

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I appreciate that you’re able to read an opinion and simply provide your own, without being personally offended and feeling a need to assert your perceived moral righteousness.

I wish you the best of luck in finding a bearded bald dude that you like.

What’s weirder, a bowling ball, or a bowling ball with a beard

Bald with a huge beard is such a weird look. Big compensation vibes.

Why are dildos so commonly purple?

Weird Al’s music is mostly just other people’s music, with his own lyrics.

Oh but the word mankind in itself overlooks women. We’re all supposed to be saying humankind now.

You underestimate my capacity for failure.

It just means he can’t do it by himself.

Yours won’t be perfect, but you can do the whole thing by yourself.

Never heard any calls for equal representation in the coal mines.

Excellent use of the second and third panels. Really adds so much to the whole thing.

Aw, did I hurt your feefees? :(