Once Pringles died, Wagner lost its pipeline of strategic hotdogs. Morale collapsed and losses ensued.

Fallout makes sense. The television series has made it incredibly hot right now, and Bethesda has already committed to doing the next TES game first.

Old and busted: $2.50 for horse armor in a fun game

New hotness: $7 for a mission in a boring game

Zelenskyy: At oh eight hundred hours, Kyiv time, the Romulan Empire formally declared war against Russia. Their cloaking technology is already being integrated into our drones. So I lied, I cheated, I bribed men to cover the crimes of other men. I am an accessory to murder. But most damning thing of all, I think I can live with it. And if I had to do it all over again, I would. The CIA was right about one thing. A guilty conscience is a small price to pay for the safety of Ukraine, so I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it. Computer, erase that entire personal log.

This is precisely why North Korean is working on an anti-furry bioweapon. They must be stopped.

French forces report that training is going well in Ukraine. In other news, yet another VDV unit has been spotted impaled on baguettes near the frontline.

It’s always better to enjoy the view of foggy mountains in silence. Well… there may have been some screaming, but you can tune that out.

Some go as far as to define themselves as ‘pornosexuals,’ people with a sexual preference for porn over real-life sex.”

Y’all motherfuckers need Jesus.

Enjoy the botslop and increased hallucinations that come with it.

Cutting edge technology from the Wile E. Coyote War Institute.

Who are you who are so wise in the ways of hindsight?

It took me a minute, but I finally saw the schooner.

“It’s all about sincerity. If you can fake that, you have it made.”

• George Burns

Reddit threw together a short deal with Google on pimping out all its users’ data for crumbs a year, and now they’re rolling the dice on the IPO.

The saddest part is that they’ll win and make bank, because at that level failure is rewarded. Make every mistake you can possibly make and still get your golden parachute. Everything would have been better without you, but you get to reap the rewards as a robber baron.

Fuck you, Spez, moderator of r/jailbait

Reddit waited out the near-zero percent interest that persisted for over a decade and are now finally pulling the trigger on the IPO with interest rates sky high and investors skittish. The punchline is that the Fed is about to lower rates over the next year, which will make speculative investments more attractive again. They delayed all this time and destroyed the site with all their for-profit changes only to go forward on the IPO at the worst possible time.

So, Reddit’s standard level of competence.

The Russian submarine fleet is expanding at an alarming rate.

I was looking for a Reddit alternative for years. I would have been cool with anything non-corporate, but figured it would take ages to build.

It’s incredible what Lemmy has turned into so quickly. A Reddit alternative went from being impossible to actually existing within a matter of weeks.

The illusion of control, even with its misplaced guilt, is easier to process than the chaotic truth that no one is in control. Everyone is making it up as they go and pretending there’s a plan. Even when there is a plan, it invariably falls apart when you attempt to implement it in reality. Too many variables. Too much chaos.

You turn away from the chaos by creating a fictitious order in your head, then blame yourself when reality happens instead of fiction.

I doubt law enforcement would allow records from r/jailbait to be scrubbed completely, especially mod logs and mod chats. That’s a source of evidence to build cases against predators, even years later.