I disagree. Violence is not the answer, and especially not against people that are living in a way that doesn’t hurt others. If a couple (or polycule) wants to be sexually exclusive, they have the right to do so, and they do not hurt others because it’s not a social imposition for everyone.

Edit: I mean, I understand questioning why we choose it, “deconstructing”, as we now call it, but after that, I think it’s an intimate matter.

It depends. Some relationships are open to pornography, others aren’t. Some are open to sexual intercourse outside their people, but others aren’t. It’s about consent and agreeing to live in a way that all needs are met.

That’s why I said it’s hard to know who is betraying their partner and who isn’t, because maybe a man or woman or whoever following an erotic/pornographic content creator is not outside what their partner(s) expect, or maybe they are.

Anyway, I do not like people breaking their “contracts” instead of talking them out.

If I were to do that, I’d probably do it for the money. I would get unfaithful followers (hard to pinpoint who because open relationships and other types of relationships exist, but statistically, there would be), and that wouldn’t make it any less uncomfortable. I personally hate unfaithful/dishonest partners.

I don’t remember the scene, but the caption and something about it makes it feel like decisiveness, maybe frustration finally made into a plan.

Historically, I’ve perceived Reddit as slightly left leaning, with strong pockets of conservatives.

Yes, in international subreddits. The national ones were often right leaning (e.g. r/Canada, r/Mexico).

The suicide rates have become one of the most popular arguments, which is a shame because it is incomplete. More men complete the suicidal act, but more women attempt it (apparently, they just own less guns, less substances in the garage, etc.). In other words—because I explain like sh*t in English: women are more suicidal, but less lethal in their attempts.

Both sexes, and intersex people, suffer a lot. The various genders suffer a lot.

I know influencers that talk about this problem without being Andrew Tate, but when I recommend them, I get downvoted as if they were worth nothing. I disagree. Of course, it is not a solution because life is always hard and confusing, but to listen to leftist men who understand feminism and other current social movements, and speak of the role of masculinity today considering those is very refreshing and it definitely helps and it is a step forward.

In a nutshell, they talk about caring about mental health. Many of them already are through their own journeys via psychotherapy or other means of introspection and emotional awareness. They talk about feelings and beliefs within the people that were told that they need to be a cartoon, an action figure, because vulnerability is for the lesser sex and a real man™ despises those things. They talk about healing, understanding, cooperation, etc. I don’t know if you’re a leftist, but that’s behind other concepts such as anarchy or social welfare. It is nice to see the line of thought from healing the personal to healing the communal, and viceversa.

So… yeah, ostracism is not the solution. It’s funny because I’ve suffered from agoraphobia and things like that in other moments of my life, and I understand the dysphoric feeling brought by just thinking about society. I have rejected society time and time again, but we are social creatures and we need each other.
I need you because writing this comment is something that I feel I have to do. You’re giving me some minutes of purpose and even hope that I can make you feel less alone in this world. We both need the person that is making Lemmy possible, and our instances, and many other people on that chain. We like having friends and romantic relationships and random interactions on social media. We like going to events and activities in our towns or cities.

As I see it, If society is not ‘rejectable’ without hurting ourselves and others, the next thing to do would be to interact healthily with our fellow human beings. It is an available journey, there are people willing to help in each step, but you need to trust and trust is hard as f*ck.

I’ve heard the argument based not on structural power but average physical capabilities and biological structures. [I’m going to use the terms meaning sex and not gender]. The man is most likely the person that can gain control during the act, and he doesn’t risk being in pain as much as the woman. Therefore, the man holds more power and is more of a threat on average.

This is also technically true, and I don’t think it is about consent but freedom. [I’ll keep using the words for sex and not gender]. Sexuality becomes another form in which women can become subjugated, so it’s a matter of precaution, I guess (especially since men are being socialized to be entitled or even violent, which is the other part of the picture).

I’ve also heard the extreme version of this argument saying that penetration is what I just described, always, without exception.

In both cases and in yours and in others, I don’t think the meme is correct because the reasons are very different from puritanism.

I doubt Jessica McCabe and her team know about Lemmy. This kind of reminds me of a fandom.

This was very sweet. Thank you!

Unfortunately, women tend to want partners, men want caregivers.

Thank you. Nobody’s seeing that. All the comments saying the woman is mean, instead of talking about how irresponsible the man must be that he needs a reward system to do what he should be doing on his own* for his family.

*I’m not sure if it’s the right expression. I mean by his own volition and out of responsibility.

Edit: I won’t acknowledge the rest of your comment because, honestly, it got confusing.

Sure, the spouse that has to create a reward system so that the other person does their chores is the one in the wrong, not the spouse that apparently needs parenting. Also, marriage is a favor to the former, not something both want and benefit from (/sarcasm).

I use TikTok (I know…). There, when there’s rivalry, it is frequently ‘gen Z’ the one bullying ‘millennials’. They criticize the way they use technology, their fashion sense, their attitudes, their musical tastes, etc. Studies are noticing that ‘gen Z’ tend more to the right-wing, so I guess there’s a part of them also criticizing previous generations for being too leftists or whatever.

I use the quotation marks because this whole generational thing seems to me arbitrary and U.S.-centric. I’m in the years that are considered the transition between these two generations and I share characteristics with both. It’s silly how serious we’ve taken this thing.

I think that if the age of consent is gradual, the age difference allowed should too.

First scenario, two 15 year olds decide to start their sexual life together. They’re fully informed. Nobody is taking advantage. It’s very different to a second scenario where a 17 year old is dating a 36 year old.

It’s funny because the problem is usually described with terms these specific French philosophers used: power dynamics. It is too unbalanced. The adult has way more power than the teenager and that’s not healthy, it can even be dangerous.

I would argue that we should be careful with age differences until our early-mid twenties, even if the law gives us a free pass from our 18th birthday. But, anyway, yeah, in the second scenario the teenager is older than the first ones, so we’d assume that if the first ones were okay the second too, but the age difference matters IMHO.

Have you heard the “I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it” quote? They meant it, huh?

Some months ago, I found a video about chronotypes. I don’t know how much of it can be considered scientific, but the websites have some interesting statistics about the number of people that fit in each of the categories. Apparently, only a minority is an early-bird or lion-type or morning-person. It has some associated traits that may explain why that schedule prevails (extraversion, leadership, good health), but it is unhealthy and unproductive for the rest! It’s not okay.

Apparently, Lemmy doesn’t believe the man who writes misogynistic lyrics can be sexist. It’s the same all over the internet. Quoting Reddit users:

a) Rammstein’s lyrics can be rather extreme, as they often include rape, incest, death, sex tourism, necrophilia, etc etc. But are they sexist? No I don’t think so.

b) A lot of their songs are out of someone’s perspective. Like Ausländer can be perceived as a sexist song written from a perspective a dude (Till lol) shagging his way around the world and seducing local populace with his foreign allure and hilariously low effort “knowledge of the local language”. […] On the other hand what the band actually intended to do is criticize colonialism.

One does not need to believe the sexual allegations to see that, still, something’s fishy, especially about the lead singer. The lyrics, the orgies, etc. For years, I have disliked songs and interviews because of this, but it all gets the “It’s satire” or “It’s symbolism” pass.

Some areas or fields have a difficult time reaching men, including young men, and it’s not because they are not wanted. Let’s take psychiatry, for example. Many people already believe psychiatry is nonsense; add to this the common idea that psychiatric treatment is for cowards—and that cowardice is mostly for women (because women can be many bad things, but men can’t)—, and that’s a recipe for men scoffing at the idea of visiting a psychiatrist (and a psychotherapist, by extension).

I’ve also heard people complaining about a lack of role models, but there are excellent role models. I hope I am not wrong about them, but I admire Stephen Fry, John Oliver, Keanu Reeves, Bill Nye… I also like many small influencers. Some of them talk about being a man with great insight, such as @watchfulcoyote on TikTok.

I cannot say with certainty how free these radicalized young men were to choose a better path than the one they are on, and it probably varies from case to case, but I know there were and are normal and decent people watching out for them.