You can always rub one out. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) P.S. Should fix your door.

Global economic slowdown? No problem? Let me kidney-punch you in the tourism. Now it’s a problem!

I never have this problem. The spiders would keep the lashes out. They are fastidious cleaners.

The irony of John Lennon being shot and this post being up/downnvoted 2-2 is not lost on me.

The vice president, who is was Catholic, discovers excommunication.

You can’t solve scalping when its a core function of LiveNation’s ecosystem. Scalping is the business model.

When the drugs wear off.

Well, there’s your problem. Don’t get high for the job you have. Get high for the job you want.

What if “burning cash” wasn’t a metaphor? The grift collects cash. Then there is a pit surrounded by stones and a significant pyre?

As long as my right to destroy is intact, it’s deplorable, but manageable.

2 in 10 Europeans are stupid and/or Chinese/American.

My chicky nuggies! ReeeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeee

Heresy! Where are the turtles? It’s turtles all the way down.

Be grateful they are incompetent.

Por qué no los dos.

Which is hillarious because I’ve been kicked out of Karaoke bars for laughing too hard at my own rendition of Islands in the stream by Dolly Parton with my drunk buddy as Kenny Rogers. It was magical and hillarious. I am a respectable Karaoke singer drunk or sober.

Karaoke bars are often polluted with a pestillence of people who think they are undiscovered musical geniuses who are minutes away from being discovered by a record label executive trolling the depths of karaoke shitholes looking for the next great pop-star. Anything that fucks with their discoverability makes them go coocoo.

Not really. Ground meats with shit in them with casings (sausage) will cook roughly the same as other ground meats with shit in them without casings. (Patties) Very similar.

That’s what all the fatties say. I’m JuSt BiG BoNed!

Classic Business Model. Make a problem. Sell it and its solution.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walter_Young_(baseball)

6’5" and 322 lbs =

Also for age: Fifty-fucking-nine!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_oldest_Major_League_Baseball_players

In true shitpost fashion, I make shit up as I go. I was too lazy to do any real research. I’m too lazy to verify your shitpost isn’t doing the same thing. Either way, ponder this: