The front fell off!

Why, the hairy little sumbitch don’t even eat!

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way too literal for me.

     ~Mitch Hedburg~

Must be the coffee and fruit shutting my brain down already. I didn’t even catch that. Now I gotta live longer accidentally doing the right thing!

I drink coffee and eat fruit every morning. I’ll let yall know if I die early on account of it!

Much easier to dress up as a disgusting republican woman than to dress up as a natural beautiful democrat woman.

Then again it’s much better to be pissed off than pissed on!

You’re damn straight I’m gonna give that sumbitch a bone! Whole dang bag matter of fact!

I wish America would cane boys that vote republican! Maybe the ignorant sonsabitches would pay a little more attention to their vote.

Listen, I was raised on the banana scale so all this talk is foreign to me!

Shunnnnsabitchs!!!

The sonsabitches ain’t pragmatically using their intended use of time that’s for sure!

I’ll bet the ones with legs are even harder to catch!

I know we got a right to bear arms but we shouldn’t have the right to bear dicks!

Well, obviously her bosom buddies are her friends! They just clam and do their job

Dark side and Wish you were Here were always my main albums growing up but in my older years I listen to Echoes (Live at Pompeii) almost daily. It’s my daily zen song.

How could I forget, I’m a fork’en elephant!

And second time and third time and thousands of times since 1973 when it came out! It’s the only album I’ve bought on 8-track, cassette, album, CD, and digitally throughout the years.

They’ll probably remember this forever!

“Well doggies, Ain’t that something “

                 ~Jed Clampett~